Long before pencils and paper were invented on planet Earth, a notebook and a chewed on stub of a pencil were sent up-stream on the river of time, slipped sideways into a parallel dimension, and fell into the lap of Hgou, an easily flustered Neanderthal taking a nap. Hgou woke with a shriek and, in a panic, threw the notebook into his cooking fire, never realizing, had he been able to read, a mess...age had been written there in Greflan, the most widely used language in the universe. The message read:
"To whom it may concern, Civilization is overrated. Nothing but bills, bills, bills. Skip the wheel. Forget about fire. You've been duly warned!"
As it turns out, Hgou was quite impressed with how briskly the notebook burned, and began to wonder for the first time what else might burn, besides tree barks, mamoth droppings, and the hair on the top of his head.
As far as the pencil was concerned, he recognized teeth marks when he saw them, and felt fortunate that the previous owner hadn't finished eating it before he got a chance to. But even his massive molars weren't up to the task, and the pencil soon joined the notebook in the fire.
It was at that moment that an extremely strange creature materialized at the mouth of the cave. Resembling a cross between a two foot long snail and a spider. Gre-li, had braved the perilious journey to deliver yet another message. She had wanted to tell Hgou to completely disregard the previous message her husband had sent, since he was having quite a bad week, and had lost his job at the slug factory. She had wanted to tell him there were many wonderful things that civilization could offer him, such as water parks, romance novels, and ruthlessly conquering other solar systems, but only managed to say "spplplat!", as Hgou dropped a boulder the size of, well, a very large boulder, down upon her, smashing her flat.
Hgou rolled the boulder out of the cave, and scraped the remains of the foul smelling creature off of the floor, but never was able to remove the stains.
"To whom it may concern, Civilization is overrated. Nothing but bills, bills, bills. Skip the wheel. Forget about fire. You've been duly warned!"
As it turns out, Hgou was quite impressed with how briskly the notebook burned, and began to wonder for the first time what else might burn, besides tree barks, mamoth droppings, and the hair on the top of his head.
As far as the pencil was concerned, he recognized teeth marks when he saw them, and felt fortunate that the previous owner hadn't finished eating it before he got a chance to. But even his massive molars weren't up to the task, and the pencil soon joined the notebook in the fire.
It was at that moment that an extremely strange creature materialized at the mouth of the cave. Resembling a cross between a two foot long snail and a spider. Gre-li, had braved the perilious journey to deliver yet another message. She had wanted to tell Hgou to completely disregard the previous message her husband had sent, since he was having quite a bad week, and had lost his job at the slug factory. She had wanted to tell him there were many wonderful things that civilization could offer him, such as water parks, romance novels, and ruthlessly conquering other solar systems, but only managed to say "spplplat!", as Hgou dropped a boulder the size of, well, a very large boulder, down upon her, smashing her flat.
Hgou rolled the boulder out of the cave, and scraped the remains of the foul smelling creature off of the floor, but never was able to remove the stains.
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