Untitled

"Maybe I should have just stayed home……"
But it was too late. He could never turn back now. Not after all that had happened he needed to do this. It was this or a guilt ridden life for as long as he lives – which probably wasn’t going to be long.
He slowly approaches the gloomy bunglow, which was shadowed under the cover of clouds, he took a moment to stare at the majestic mansion that had stood for years, – against rain or shine, it had held its ground – and had untold millions of rumors about being haunted, ghostly lights that roam the vast hallways, the emptiness inside was unspeakable. He stood in front of the wooden teak door and slowly reach for the door bell, he was aware that his heart was beating faster and faster like a drum solo was being performed in his chest, ready to burst out of his chest at a moment’s notice. With a heavy heart he presses the doorbell and seals his fate!
DING DONG, DING DONG.

The bell echo out into the compound and into his ears like a huge parade was going inside his ear! It rang and rang until finally, the doorknob started to turn, slowly at first, then the door was slowly pulled open, inch by inch. Its hinges squeak, a sure sign that it needed a few drops of oil…
A skeletal hand appear at the crack of the door, a voice ask what the man wanted, its face hiding in the shadows.
The man had suddenly lose his voice and made a sort of squeaking sound that was barely audible
"Speak up if you want to be heard boy!!"
The voice was hoarse and hollow. Each syllable sends a shiver down his spine. Making him sweat, he clear his throat and tries again, but to no avail.
He clears his throat one more time, and this time manages to squeak out what he was trying to say.
"You – your, pi-pi-pi-pizza i-i-i-is he-he-he-here, si-si-si-si-sir."

Sanjay

A closed room, grey smoke accentuating the grey walls. A bed in the middle of the room and a figure lying almost lifeless. Suddenly fingers move, eyelids flutter and then open slowly. Smoky, dreamy eyes come into view. Sits up, looks into the watch. Its almost 10’ o clock at night. Its been almost 4 hrs Sanjay has been in that room. He reached out his hands for a pack of cigarette. Opened its lid and looked in disbelief. It was empty. He had bought a 10 pack before entering his room. His eyes lingered towards the ashtray. The ashtray was filled to brim with cigarette butts. Slowly lowered his head and let out a sigh. He stood up, scratching his head about what to do. He put on his tracks and goes out to have something to eat. The weather is good outside. Cool wind is blowing. As he steps into the road, his face is swept over by a gush of fresh air. His lungs craving for oxygen. He inhales the air like some fierce beast. Sanjay is feeling much lighter now. Buys some cigarettes on the way. Lights one.  In the dark road lit only by moon, he walks slowly, a cigarette in the corner of his lips, a humming a tune and mind racing.

“I am a loner. But was I always the same?”

The answer came “Yes”. Sanjay always talked less and at times never talked. He loves listening, observing. He could never come to terms with the life he is leading. He always has been like this. Books and movies are his life. Through them he lives.

Books were an age old addiction of him. It was inherited by him from his mother.  He remembers, by the age of 14, he had almost read most of the famous novels and classics in English literature. He was intrigued by Jules Verne. How can a person dwelling in an almost ignorant world could imagine so ahead of his time? His only disappointment is that he had never read any classics of his mother tongue. He had spent most of time outside which was a debacle for him to learn his mother tongue properly.

Movies was a recent addition to his habit. Watching movies made him dream. He could see the world according to his own terms. He could feel the movie. Movies played an important role in clearing some of the smoke in his mind.

Sanjay reaches a small shack which serves food. He saw an empty table and occupies that. Looks around and then orders a plate of ‘Aloo Paratha’. The owner of the shop and another customer sitting in front of me are shouting over the country’s state of affairs. Sanjay feels a burst of hope that there are some who still cares but then hangs down his head because this will always stay till shouting. Nothing will be done. Nothing will they do. He finishes his food, pays the owner and exits the shop.

He lights another cigarette.

“Can’t I do anything? This is democracy. Who is going to stop me?”

 Like others, Sanjay has been compelled to take the path that others traverse. For money, for love, responsibility, duty. These needs to be fulfilled. Bonds and ties have burdened him. He wants to run away, to fly but cannot. He wants to be different like many others before him who have tried to make a difference and succeeded. He has hope. He has faith over humanity. May be someday we will understand.

He reaches home. Undresses. Switches the lights off. Goes to sleep. He is dreaming of a beautiful girl. The girl he has loved and will love.

The Dream

Twisting and twirling blurry vision
Seems like a lost mission
The devil commands a soul to do its bidding
A soul begs the devil to be kidding

Round and round we go
Round the pit of woe
Our games hit a new low
Spare me please! the pain and sorrow
Though they come toe in toe
With this whole new show

Sour me, devour me
Leave me, deceive me
Break me, make me
Love me, hate me
Just don’t wake me

Mixing and twirling blurry vision
Seems like a lost mission
The devil commands my soul to do its bidding
My soul begs the devil to be kidding

Wake me up from this dream
As the world must be better
Than this nightmarish scheme
Sending God a complaint letter
Writing down my constant scream

The Clown

He is a small clown in a busy Circus. The circus has many animals, trapeze artists, jugglers the guys who ride around in the Death Well. The clown takes a walk around the circus waves to Samson the lion, pats Jumbo the elephant then he bends to pick up some hay .This he gives to the horses who are getting ready to take the kids for a ride . He slowly trudges off into the extreme right of the Circus .This is where the Circus manager has his office .The clown has been summoned by the manager this morning .He has some important and rather urgent news to share with the clown . The Clown is in his mid thirty has a paunch, broad shoulders with short skinny hands . He is wearing his red nose and his hair are colored orange and red .They are long and shoulder length. He walks with a little hunch and stoop of his shoulders.
The clown stops at a near by tent the sign reads 'Circus Manager' .The Clown stops he dusts himself up , combs his long hair , fixes his red nose and enters the tent. The circus manager greets the clown and offers him some tea .He is in a reflective mood the manager and slowly comes to the point .
“Look here Hari, I know you have been in the circus for a long time , and we owe you a lot .In the last 2 decades you were a rage young acrobat and mega talented. We have done hundreds of shows together and made a lot of money .You know what they say buddy, Time and Tide wait for none.Things have changed, now the movies are the in thing , the disco’s , the night clubs, nobody wants to come to the Circus .You know the family system is breaking up all around the world .People go to strip bars for fun these days or maybe watch football at home. Circus is just not the in thing these days."
The Clown took a deep breath as if to contemplate that the worse was about to come. His words were making him edgy as if a bomb was about to be dropped on him .
“In the light of the above Hari, old friend, we will have to ask you to relinquish your services to the Circus , we are going to have to ask you to leave.”
It came as a big shock , he had been with the circus for over a decade. The circus was what all he had known as a child his only home. This was all he had ever known . He had no skills to survive in the outside world. What would he do ? How was he to support himself? These questions were whizzing past his head.
Where would he go , he had no home apart from the circus , he would be on the street .
“Shankar, I have served the circus since a child for over twenty years , I would not know what to do.”
He took off his wig and nose and kept it on the table.
”I mean I don’t even know now what the real me is . Am I Hari or am I just the clown. Which face is for real and which is not”.
With these words he started sobbing , as tears rolled by the circus master realized that this was not going to be an easy task . He kept his arms around Hari as if to reassure him, that things were not all that bad . He took out his cheque book and wrote out a check to Hari .
As Shankar handed him a cheque the clown started coughing and wheezing . He took the check nevertheless and kept it in his coat pocket . Shankar looked at him with concern in his eyes . He then escorted Hari out of the tent . The impact of what had happened had just hit Hari as he slowly walked towards the rear end of the circus where his tent was. His strides where slow and unsteady .He walked into his tent and looked around .There were trophies on the wall , photographs with governors of past years , photo’s doing his juggling act . The vast variety of masks , coats , fur and hats adorned the walls . The clown slowly opened his cupboard and started to pack his belongings into a case.

He first kept the clothes ,shirts , trousers and boxer shorts then he started packing his photographs ,his red noses lying on the table .He couldn’t control himself now , he sat on the bed and started to cry . With a heavy heart he finished his packing . Now finding the tent totally empty he found himself totally alone . He paused for a while then switched off the lights and left his tent.
As he strode out into the fast field he saw the animals again one by one .The lions , the elephants and the horses .He slowly waved them good bye , the animals nod as if they were replying to him. He saw a bunch of trapeze boys having their morning tea .
"We will miss you Hari old mate .” One of them cried out .
Hari waved to them and did a little juggling act with the red balls , something for which he was famous for. He walked up to the iron gate where the gatekeeper is waiting for him to come . He opens the gate for him and then takes his hat off and bows , just out of respect . The clown gives him a nod and a wave and passes by the circus gate .He trudges along and then turns back as if to see the gates of the circus for the last time. He has a tear in his eyes and takes a red handkerchief out to wipe them off.
Now he is all alone, unequipped to live in the real world. He finds a near by park in the middle of a busy street and sit’s on a bench . He looks around to see traffic passing by , noises of the city resonate in the air . He slowly takes a sweet bun out of his pocket and begins to eat it .He then realizes that he has a check given to him by Shankar in that pocket too. He takes the cheque out, looks at it and looks around .He sees a bank and walks right in to encash the check . As he goes through the bank's revolving door he comes into a huge lobby .He sees a busy man in a suit and tie sitting in a cubicle marked Bank Manager.
He tells the man he has a check to encash and that he wants to apply for a job in the Bank. The manager looks at him with disdain .The clown was looking ridiculou with his fiery red hair and red nose asking for a serious job in the bank .The manager refutes the idea and asks him to leave immediately .The clown looks around and sees advertising posters, banners and pamphlets of the bank. All these are making huge service product promises like our bank has over a million satisfied customers, our bank makes people smile, we keep customers happy. He points out to the manager saying,
“See that’s what working in your bank is all about, it is about making customers happy and about putting a smile on their faces. I have been doing just that for the past years in the circus .I Hari the Clown has been making people smile, who could know that better then me”.
The manager is not pleased, says
”Look Hari you don’t have the experience or the qualifications required to work in a bank, we would not know what to do with a clown."
The clown is persistent and takes out four juggling balls from his pocket and starts to perform his juggling act. Everyone in the lobby is pleasantly bemused and start looking at what the clown is doing . He then takes out more balls from his coat pocket and starts to throw the balls higher and higher . As he stops everyone has gathered around him and start to clap and smile. The kids start to dance for joy to see the clown in such a mood . When he stops he looks at the bank manager as if to say
”Look I made your customers smile in minutes , how am I not qualified to work for your bank”.
The bank manager is having none of it and asks the guards to throw the stupid clown out of the house . As he is being taken out from the other door a little girl walks up to him and gives him a lollipop .The clown looks towards her with compassion and has a tear in his eye. The little girl pats the clown and the clown gives her a red nose and squeezes it . The girl giggles and the clown is ushered out of the door.
He goes back to the park bench and sits on it again disappointed that the real world has no place for him where he could make a living. He looks around again with a sense of helplessness and despondency . He sees an airline office, ah! his eyes light up with glee .
He walks into the airline office .The big doors usher him in. He sees the way to the manager’s cabin, sits on the chair and introduces himself. The airline manager who has just finished having a banana , looks at him as if to say.
“What can I do for you now.”
He tells him the same story that he is Hari the clown and wants a job at the airline. The manager looks amused. He waves the clown away saying that he had no merit to be working for an airline.
The clown is persistent in his efforts , he looks around to find banners and posters proclaiming what a fine airline it was . How they made millions of customers smile .How happy each customer was with their service etc. The clown asks why he is the most qualified to work here , since he has made people smile and be happy all his life .He takes out his red balls and starts to do his famous juggling act again.
All of a sudden people start to come forward into the lobby and start to cheer the clown, who is busy doing his juggling act. The crowd begins to clap and smile. Laughter bellows through the lobby the prospective customers are in a state of delight . The airline manager however hates the commotion that the clown was causing and asks him to leave. Two guards come and catch the clown by the hand and take him to the door.
Hari finds himself at the park again. There is a turmoil inside him.
"What will I do? How will I feed myself?" He mutters struggling hard to keep out the tears.
His eyes falls to the lollipop given by that little girl from bank. Smilling, he starts sucking. Memories flood him as to how he was so famous amongst little children. How they would laugh and giggle. How he would laugh seeing them.
His eyes suddenly lit up. He knew exactly what to do. This time he went to the bank again with the sole purpose to encash his cheque. He goes back to his shanty and removes the traces of his profession. Wears clean clothes and goes out.
Standing in front of the Advertising Agency, with a sense of purpose he walks in.
"I would like to throw up an advertisemnt."
Tne officer gave him a form to fill up the details. He submits the form and pays the money.
"I do, what I do best" He says to himself.
The caption of the advertisement read "Clown available for children birthday parties"

A Christmas Story

In a faraway distant land covered by sands of snow, a constant breeze of warm love and the aroma of happiness. Lush trees with wrafer leaves, sugar stick fruits and cotton candy flowers. Cute little birds singing the sweet song of love.
There was this gigantic building covered with wreath and tinkling bells. There was this atmosphere of excitement and activity inside. The door opened gently with a gigling creak.
A man as old as christmas, flowing white beard and a physique that could give even the most affluent inactive person a run for his money. His eyes were like blue sky with a twinkle. His ruddy red cheeks like roses in full blossom. He was wearing a red coat outlined with white. Time and again he thundered
"Ho...Ho..Ho...!!"

This man whom we all know as Santa Claus or more lovingly 'Santa' was busy packing his bag with toys and sweets and all the goodies that an earthly being could desire.
A few yards away stood his assistant, Elkis. His expression was the total opposite of his surroundings. Drooping lips, twitching eyebrows and a dismal face.
"What makes you worry so much? Is it your love for me?" Santa asked him, chuckling.
"No Sir, I m-m-mean yes sir. I do love you. Who does not. But i do not think wooden toys, cute rag dolls, shovels, sand buckets, trinklets would be what the children desire most nowadays." Elkis replied.
"You worry too much, my son. Trust me. This is going to work. Ho...Ho...Ho..." Santa replied with a grin.
He went on about his work decorating his sleigh. He whistled and out came a pack of reindeers with majestic horns galloping in glee. These princely creatures alligned themselves with the sleigh. Santa reined them, patting them lovingly and whispering in there ears. Then with one swift movement which betrayed his age and physique, he swung the huge bag of gifts into the sleigh. He then climbed into the sleigh.
"Don't be naughty while i am away, Elkis" Santa said waving his hands. Elkis waved back with a smile.
"Tuk...Tuk..."
The reindeers raised their ears and then gracefully started running, pulling the sleigh behind. It began to snow now. The flakes were like cotton of varying shapes and sizes.
As the sleigh dissapeared into the horizon, Elkis was left with a deep thought.
"Age has finally affected Santa's thinking. I should better prepare my resume." Elkis thought.
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way...
The night was filled with this tune alongwith tinkling bells. Santa had arrived. He stopped at the first roof top. Took out a toy from the sack. Then he jumped into the chimney. Somehow he seemed to fit himself inside.
He proceeded stealthily to the room occupied by a child. He glanced at him lovingly. He then took out a grain from a pouch dangling from his belt and deposited on the eyes of the child.
"The Sand of Dreams. Such an innovative idea." Santa thought to himself with a grin.
He then placed the toy beside the bed of the child. He left the house as stealthily as he had arrived. This went on till every little child had a little toy beside them. Santa, sitting in his sleigh, stroked his beard with a smile. A smile of a job well done. He was chuckling to himself as to how happy the children would be when they wake up to find a cute little toy beside them. He was stiffling the tears of joy.
"Tuk...Tuk..."
The reindeers started off, taking their rider back to his home.
They next day.....
"Mom!! I asked santa for a Playstation but I got this strange round object tied with a string. What am i to do with it?"
"Its a yo-yo son. Its a very nice thing to play with. Let me teach you"
"I do not want to play with this. All my friends will be getting cool things."
In another house...
"Mama!! What is this?" A child asked clutching a building block set.
"This is a building block set. You need to use the appropriate blocks to build a structure. May be a nice little home or whatever you like" Mother replied with a nostalgic smile.
"I do not want to build anything. I need a X-Box. My friend's father had bought him one last year. It was so cool."
In another home...
"Ma... Look!! I got a doll. Its so soft and it does not break"
Her mother looked at her daughter, astonished. They could not afford a doll for their child. She said with a smile
"Yes dear. Indeed its a nice doll. Come, let me decorate it for you"
"Can you teach me?" the child said enthusiatically.
"Sure, sweetheart"
They both sat down and started decorating the doll. Both were laughng and gigling.
This was the situation in evry home. Some were unhappy with the presents, some were not.
Santa is sitting in his chair, warming his feet by the fireplace. Elkis was standing beside him with the same gloomy expression.
"I told you. Children are not going to like the kind of gifts you have given them this year. The happiness quotient is down to an all time low. If you look at this graph you will....."
"Ahhhhh.... You worry too much, my boy. Do you see this white hair? They haven't become so just like that. Wait and watch. Now let me sleep...."
Sipping on to a cup of hot chocolate, he strode off.
The next day....
Children have never been so dissapointed any christmas. Everywhere, little groups of children were huddled, talking excitedly about all the useless things they recieved this year.
There was this one group round the corner of a street involved animatedly in a discussion that would have given CEOs a complex. On the the other side of the road, a small boy was playing with his yo-yo. He had recievd this as a christmas present and his father had spent almost an entire day teaching him how to play.
The group's eyes fell on him and they looked on with amazement. The boy was throwing the yo-yo at awkward angles and everytime it was returning back to his hand. He was laughing and gigling, amazed at his own skill.
One boy from the group said "Hey, I got one of those as a present."
"Hey!!" He shouted to the small boy. "Excuse me, can you teach me how to play with this?"
"Surething" The boy replied back.
After sometime fiddling around, the boy had become quite adept with yo-yo and had started showing off to his friends, his newly aquired skills. Everyone were dumbstruck and were eager to show themselves off as well.
"Wow!! This is so cool. Can you teach me? Is it interesting?" Rest of the guys circled around the now blushing kid. He has made some new friends.
In another part of the town...
A bunch of girls were in a same kind of discussion.
"I asked for a Princess Barbie but instead got this rag doll. Can't even put makeup on this thing. Its so hideous" Every other girl were also having a sad face as their story was also similar.
"Hey!! Look at that girl over there. She's also having this rag doll, but... but... its so beautiful. I wish i had got that one"
"Hey you!! From where did you get this doll?"
"Santa gave this to me" She replied back clutching her doll.
"Its so beautifull."
"Yes, me and my mother decorated it with bits of clothes and small trinklets. Look!! you can do whatever you like, it won't break. YTou can even wash it if it gets dirty"
"Come to my home, I have some left over clothes. Can you show me how to decorate this doll?"
"Allright" The girl replied back smiling shyly.
So they all went and  sat down to decorate their respective dolls. They had a fun afternoon and after an hour they wear wearing a smile of satisfaction. Each girl had a doll customised as they wanted and all were looking beautiful. They all thanked the girl.
"You can play with us if you want to"
"Thank you, I would love to" The girl replied with a laughter. She too made some new friends.
Little children running around playing with toys, making snow castles,snow man. There was an air of excitement and activity. It was filled with children's laughter. Everyone was happy.
Santa came up and stood behind Elkis. Placed his hand in Elkis's shoulder.
"A pretty sight out there. What say Elkis?"

The Guy

I was strolling down the lane on a dusky evening, when i stumbled upon
this guy. The guy was as thin as pole and tall as a pole. I looked up
on him and said
 "Sorry sir, Good Evening"
 I had expected some sort of reply but none came other than the
whisper of the evening wind.
 I looked up at him briefly. This guy was dressed in black from top to
bottom and had this strange halo. His hands were legs were so covered
that they could hardly be distinguished.
 "Are you OK, sir?"
 I asked in desperation but still no answer. I got angrier with myself
being rebuffed like that. I bade him good bye and continued with my
stroll. I looked back and he still stood there. For the first time I
saw his eyes. In the dark, they were burning with a strange aura.
 He was standing still, rooted to his place, looking at me, eyes
fixed. A shudder ran through my spine.
 I started walking briskly. What came next, made my jaw to drop open.
 I had just gone a few yards from the spot when I found him again
standing still.
 "Really sir, there's no need to apologize" I approached him with a
wave of my hat.
 I was greeted with that strange eerie silence. He was looking at me,
eyes fixated. My heart skipped a beat.
 I had already started jogging. A few yards and he again came into my
view.
 "I am being stalked" I thought to myself.
 This time i started running. And still I found him to outrun me.
There ahead of me again, that same guy is standing. Cold sweat broke
through. I could hear my heart beat. I mustered my courage and made a
dash for my home which was just a corner and a block away. I ran with
all my might.
 I turned round the corner, jumped a bush, disturbed a cat and
disorganized a lady. I reached the confines of my home. Took out my
keys, opened the door and slammed it close in one swift movement.

 I buckled down under the exhaustion and stooped to catch my breath. I
drank a glass of water and recollected the happenings of this evening
and thought to myself
 "I am SAFE now."

The Train

I am on my way back from the city that feeds me, to the city i fed on. I stood on the station platform, i will be departing in 25 minutes. I boarded the coach and found my seat. Its the side lower berth. My favourite. I checked the reservation list and there will be no one on my top berth till the next 3-4 hours. I brought down the seats, placed my baggages and stretched my legs.
All around there were people who were struggling with there bags or quarelling with the passengers on the allignment of seat. I was chuckling to myself at my smartness. I travelled light. One bag and always the side lower berth.
Suudenly there was a shudder that rushed through the train. It had started rolling. I rolled up the curtain, plugged myself in, to my pod, took out a Jeffrey Archer and started reading.
My lids started to droop. I bookmarked the book and prepared to take a nap. And i fell asleep.
There was this beautiful dream, with sunrays filtering out from the leaves of lush green trees and playing with my eyes. There was this telephone lying on the ground which was ringing. I answered it. A beautiful voice said "Hello". I replied back 'Hello, who's this?". Again came back the voice "Hello". But this time, a hand white as marble and smooth as porcelain materialized out of the mouth piece and touched my cheeks. It was warm. I started.
My eyes opened and found itself treated with the view of a lovely, pretty girl.
I sat up, rubbed my eyes and said "i...i... am sorry. I nodded off". She replied back "No problem, I just arrived. Anyways, i will be your companion for the next few hours till my station arrives. I am your co passenger of up above" This she said with a twinkle.
I smiled and made some place for her to sit and arrange her bags. I was repulsed by her arrogance and straight forwardness. But i was also liking her simplicity  and friendliness.
I was stealing glances while she was doing her place. She was wearing a navy blue kurti and a black jeans. She was shapely and had these fine traces of fat down her shoulders. And there was also this little tummy, the outline of which was starting to peek. The way she carried herself told me that she was not at all embarrased with these short comings or rather extra additions. I liked her confidence.
I was still staring at her, when i found some of my other co-passengers were also staring at me. It was strange. "Don't worry. People still think they live in the 1700s and girls and boys should not be allowed to mix freely" She was speaking to me. I turned towards her "Yeah, to hell with them" "Why did you curse them?" She said. I looked at her blankly. Spurted out "Sorry, won't happen again"
She took her corner of the seat, took out a magazine men usually ogle at. The Cosmopolitan.
I took my corner, plugged myself in and went ahead with my Jeffrey Archer.
I was stealing glances at her. Suddenly, she looked straight at me and her brows quiverred. With a smile, she put down her magazine. All this while i was staring at her.
I saw her lips moving and it was music to my ears. "Holy shit" I blurted out. I still had my headphones on. I snatched them out. "Sorry, i did not get you" I said.
"What were you looking at?"
"Nothing...."
A frowning face stood before me.
"You look horrible. I think you forgot to put your brows in place"
She had this tremendous fit of laughter after hearing this. And i laughed with her. "I like you" "What?" "I like you"
I stared at her blamkly. Was i hearing right? "Thank you, maam. I really appreciate"
"And i thought chivalry ended with the kings!!" She replied.
I made this pompous proud face and we had another bout of laughter.
We had some more chit chat for sometime.
"I am going upstairs. I need some sleep" "Sure, If the bugs bug you, give this bug a buzz...."
She gave this giggle like i was some schoolboy blabbering away. Even the rose would have felt ashamed of its colour. She waved her hands and i saw her little feet disappear amongst the bed sheet.
I settled in my corner.
"Sigh, what a girl!!"
I plugged myself in. Changed the playback to shuffle. Suprisingly, Annie' Song was playing. Smiling to myself, dozed off.
I dreamt of her.
I was in this meadow, following her around. Suddenly a waft of breeze alerted my senses. I was aware of a sweet flowery familiar scent. The scent of a woman. I knew from where it came. Smilling i opened my eyes and there she was in front of me.
"Will you marry me? Then you will have the priviledge of wakinhg me up everyday" i said sleepily. She looked offended and hurt. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say something like that" "Gotcha....." she said giggling. I had a hearty laughter after that. "I am serious about my proposal" She showed her tongue and hid her face in her bag trying to find something. I ruffled my hair and watched her.
She took out a tin of cakes and offered me to have some. We both had cakes over a cup of hot coffee. Soon the stewards from pantry car came to take order for dinner. We both ordered and sat down to play chinese checkers. I always have a pocket version of this game with me.
The game went ahead. None of us made a single try to push towards victory. We just wanted this moment to go on. Laughing, poking, clapping,teasing....
Dinner arrived. We both started eating. Criticised the amount of salt and sweet, made noses and finished our ordeal with the train food.
We washed our hands. "I think we should go to bed." she said yawning. "You are always welcome to my berth" She hit me playfully.
While we were preparing ourselves for the night, we had this moment when she placed her finger on her lips and placed it gently on my cheeks. "Good night" I looked at her. I couldn't find her eyes. "Good night and Sweet dreams to you, dear" I said warmly.
We both went to sleep. The gentle memories and the rhythmic rocking put me to sleep fast.
A rustle suddenly woke me up.
She was standing beside me.
"What are you doing?"
"Not able to sleep. I miss my teddy bear!!" "Can i be with you till i fall asleep?"
This took me by surprise. "Sure". I sat up and made room for her.
She sat beside me. There was this strange lingering sadness about her. I looked at her eyes, they were splashing. I had never looked at her eyes up close before. They were shiny black. Looking at them was like staring into the black night sky.
With a trembling voice she said "I want a hug. Please"
I stretched my hands towards her and she cozied in. She was suddenly cold. Her breathing rapid.
"Can i listen to your heart beat? I like the way it thumps."
I nodded my head in approval. She put her head on my chest. I could feel her breath on me. A slight tremor in her body and occassional sobbing. I started to caress her hair gently.
"Don't worry. Whatevers bothering you, will be fine by morning. I am here now. I will not leave you alone. Ever." I said softly.
She clutched me tighter.
"Promise?"
"I promise"
Her breathing became gentler and the sobbing stopped. I looked at her. She was sleeping. She had this peacefull face with a smile playing at her lips.
I was thinking that all this time i never got to know her name or where she stayed. We spoke for so long but we never asked each others name. I made sure to ask her the next morning. What i would have done without her? I fell asleep over her head.
There was chaos all around. I opened my eyes and everybody were busy unloading their bags. I looked around and she was not there. I checked the upper berth with the same results. I asked my other passengers "Excuse me!! but have you by any chance seen this girl or where she got off in the morning? The girl who was occupying the upper berth"
They looked shocked.
I was devastated. I did not know her name. I did not know where she stayed. Yet I spent some of my most memorable moments with her. The closeness we shared, all came down on me with a sudden burst of emotions.
I controlled myself, collected my bags and got down from the train.
There was this little boy standing in front of me with his parents. I waved at him like a robot. He pointed his fingers at me "Mad Man!!!"
I was amazed at his rudeness.
"Why would you call me a MAD MAN? You don't know me!!!"
"Because you speak to yourself and do strange things"

Drive By

I was driving down the highway, one fine sunny winter morning. Suddenly I saw a girl standing on the road, waving her hands gracefully with her thumbs down. I stopped the car beside her. Rolled down the window and asked her "Where to?" She said "I'll let you know".
There she sat beside me, her baggage lying on the back seat. She rolled up the window as she was having trouble with her open tress of hair. She put a hairclip in her mouth, gathered her hair neatly into a pony tail and clipped it. I suddenly found myself staring at her. She turned towards me and gave a smile. Her smile had this uncanny ability to do wonders. There was somethng warm and friendly in that. I smiled sheepishly at her and turned my gaze towards the road ahead.
She put on her Wayfarer glasses, rolled down the window and surrendered her face to the wind. I was amazed at her audacity. I told her "Hey, I don't think you would like to catch cold" She turned to me with a surprised face and giggled. She spoke "What? Haven't you done this ever?" I looked at her with a quizzical expression, thinking if this is a sort of activity which needs to be done. My thoughts were broken by a taunt that hurt my male ego. I quickly rolled down my side of window and started feeling the wind on my face. Just like her. The first time, it stung me like needles. After some acclimatization, the sensation was totally new. It was like breathing for the first time. Fresh wind filling me up. At that instant, I was forcing myself to not to reach out for her cheeks and kiss her. I turned towards her and said "Thank You!! Thanks a lot!". She just smiled with a hint of blush. She was so sweet.
Along the way, there came a Gas Station with a sort of food store attached. The car came to a halt. I looked at her. She was also looking at the food store. "Let me bring something for you to eat." I told her. She shrugged her shoulder, pouted her lips and said with a smile "Ok" "Are you sure, you don't want to come with me inside?" "No, I am fine. Need to arrange my bags".
I was searching for something worth eating inside the store. Finally zeroed in on Sweet Buns, Chocolate Spread and two cans of cola. I paid in cash and started towards her or my car. I had this strange feeling for her inside me. I was liking her and her spirit. We both were strangers. She was friendly even though we didn't speak much. I decided to start some conversation over our brekfast. Someone has said "A relation formed over a nice appetite, is the strongest one"
I was feeling so betrayed and angry. My eyes searched frantically. She was nowhere. She was gone. I looked inside, her bag was not there. What was left behind was the sweet smell of her and the memories. I attacked the food with desperation. I opened the can of cola, raised my head to gulp it down. My eyes fell on the rear mirror. There was this beautifully crafted bracelet. I remembered seeing the same on her right hand. I immediately took out the bracelet and gazed at it longingly.
Written on the bracelet was a single simple, yet strong word : ENTIRELY